If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. (Carl Sagan)

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better. (A. J. Liebling)

I have nothing to declare except my genius. (Oscar Wildeupon arriving at U.S. customs 1882)

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. (Voltaire)

Black holes are where God divided by zero. (Steven Wright)